Bob the Maid
wTF MY 7 YEAR OLD SISTER JUST CAME INTO MY ROOM AND GESTURED FOR ME TO FOLLOW HER AND DIDNT SAY ANYTHING SO I DID AND SHE LEAD ME INTO THE BACKYARD AND SHE SAID “IM GOING TO SHOW YOU MY SECRET” AND I WAS LIKE “WHAT OK” AND SHE TOOK THE LID OFF HER PORTABLE SANDBOX AND IT WAS FILLED WITH WATER AND LIKE THOUSANDS OF TINY BABY TADPOLES SWIMMING AROUND AND I WAS LIKE WHAT WHERE DID YOU GET THESE AND SHE SAID “iM RAISING THEM”
(via prejaculate)
llama of the day!
cannibalism
I think you mean cananabananailism
what the hell is wrong with you people
You must be new here
i will reblog this every single time
(via orgasmic-humor)
i’ve got some kind of allergic reaction going on and my face is breaking out in a bad rash and my mom is freaking out and wants to take me to the ER and my dad was like “let’s not make any rash decisions” and we high fived and now my mom is yelling at us
(via orgasmic-humor)
when my mom was pregnant she would put a walkman up to her stomach and play cher’s greatest hits and she apologizes for it every day because she thinks that’s what made me gay
(via iwillmindfuckyou)
No this is Patrick
(Source: dont-patronize-me-u-lil-shit, via lrvin)
(Source: regularshowbestmoments, via lrvin)
“please, I’m making your day entertaining.”
I wasn’t looking for page 404.
Expectations:
Reality:
